i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
