you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
