Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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