Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
