Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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