My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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