i just google imaged poop.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
