And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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