How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
