erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Randomize
