I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
