I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
