didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Is it because I queefed?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
