hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize