are you still at the devil's house?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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