There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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