i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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