I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
