I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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