i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
