I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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