Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
