Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
