I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
