my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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