Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize