marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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