she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
