I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
