i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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