Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
