I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
