Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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