I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
