It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
