I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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