It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
