# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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