OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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