Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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