ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
