our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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