Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
