This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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