Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
