Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize