What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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