I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
