I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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