You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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