u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
