yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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