I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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