I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
