Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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