3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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