A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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