There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
