Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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