I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
