either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
