If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
