lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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