Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
