Im at strip club and am horny
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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