I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
