I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Randomize
