I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
