yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
