i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i've created a new STD.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
