My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
