so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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