You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
