at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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