Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
