honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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