some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
should my penis look like a turkey
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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