Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
