angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
